I grew up in a large family. There were always aunts, uncles, and cousins around. While being part of such a familial group has its advantages, I found myself surrounded by people who were addicted to drama. If you’ve ever been in that situation, you’ll understand what I’m about to write. If you have not, consider yourself lucky.
In my family, there is always someone who is angry at someone else. There is always a problem. Nothing has to actually happen for people to get mad, they’ll just fabricate something. And then they tell themselves the made up story so convincingly that they actually believe it to be true. My relatives are always fighting, gossiping, and creating turmoil. It’s sport to them. Within the confines of the family unit, they believe their behavior is normal, after all this is all they know. But to outsiders who actually practice healthy relationships, the behavior is emotionally, mentally, and physically draining.
There have been times that I have been on the receiving end of the drama and it’s devastating. I don’t have that killer instinct in me – I couldn’t keep up with the pros. I ended up questioning everything about myself, including my self worth. That pain has led me to try and better understand these interpersonal dynamics because I constantly battle to stay above it and away from it.
People who are addicted to drama often find it difficult to regulate their emotions, leading to exaggerated responses. They overreact to situations, creating unnecessary conflict. This behavior can stem from various factors.
If they grew up in an environment where dramatic reactions were common, they might adopt similar behaviors. This learned behavior can be difficult to break. Their underlying insecurities and low self-esteem can drive them to seek reassurance and attention through dramatic means. Creating drama can be a way to manipulate situations and people to gain a sense of power and control.
“ People who are addicted to drama often find it difficult to regulate their emotions, leading to exaggerated responses.”
Dealing with someone who exhibits dramatic behavior can be challenging. These are a few strategies that might help:
Stay calm: Keep your emotions in check. Responding with calmness can help de-escalate a dramatic situation.
Set boundaries: Clearly communicate your limits and what behavior is acceptable. Consistent boundaries can reduce the frequency of dramatic outbursts.
Don't engage: Avoid feeding into the drama. Stay neutral and refrain from reacting to provocations.
Listen actively: Sometimes, people create drama because they feel unheard. Listening to their concerns can help address underlying issues.
Use "I" statements: When discussing their behavior, use "I" statements to express how their actions affect you without sounding accusatory. For example, "I feel stressed when conversations become heated."
Redirect the conversation: Guide the discussion toward more productive topics or solutions rather than focusing on the drama.
Encourage positive behavior: Reinforce and acknowledge when they handle situations calmly and constructively.
Limit your exposure: If the drama becomes too overwhelming, limit the amount of time you spend with the person.
Seek support: If the drama queen is a close friend or family member, consider seeking advice or support from others who understand the situation.
Suggest professional help: If their behavior is particularly disruptive, gently suggest they seek help from a counselor or therapist.