Written by Linda Mitchell, the founder of Living Inspired Coaching.
Obstacles present themselves daily. We always have the choice to maintain a calm emotional state or become rattled. Whether it’s relationship conflict, a health setback, traffic jam or a lost job, those same two possibilities exist. Which do you routinely choose? The key is to maintain your composure as much as possible. But how?
Life transitions, challenges and chaos are all different types of hurdles, but each present a chance to turn obstacles into opportunities. Carefully choose your thoughts, mindset and emotional response in every situation. Try these tips in the midst of difficult challenges.
Be defiant. On some level, composure is the result of defiance. It’s the refusal to allow a situation to knock you off center or intimidate you.
Take responsibility. Something powerful happens when you choose to take responsibility for a situation: you have the power to change course or work through things. The result is feeling less stress and anxiety.
“Carefully choose your thoughts, mindset and emotional response in every situation.”
Stay present. In times of turmoil, keep your attention on your current task. Stay in the present moment. Focus on what you want to have happen rather than on possible negative outcomes. To stay present when your mind wanders, concentrate on your breathing and all the good still available to you. Practice gratitude for the positive moments, events and people who make you smile. You can only think about one thing at a time. Use that fact to your advantage and stay centered on the positive.
Center on solutions. While some people are masters at concentrating on their challenges, successful people keep their emphasis on solutions. The more you practice this, the more adept you’ll become. What you focus on expands! Amplifying challenges clouds your vision. Fear, anxiety and anger limit your ability to see every option and often the most elegant or simple solution may elude you. You’re at your best when you stay poised and positive. Self-care and support from others are of great value here.
While putting these tips into practice, it’s important to stay objective. Objectivity is the ability to see the situation accurately, without the influence of emotion, prejudice, or bias. When you’re observing, you see what’s truly there. When you’re perceiving, your vision is skewed because you’re witnessing through the lens of emotion.
Practice objectivity and find more opportunities with these tips:
Avoid quick reactions. When frightened, a deer either freezes or runs. Running is a strong instinct, not a thoughtful process. In fact, it’s so strong that deer often flee from one threat only to run straight into something more ominous like a busy roadway. Reacting quickly is the result of instinct. We do it too. Your boss infuriates you, so you quit. Your spouse makes a mistake and you verbally unload on them. Reacting quickly is rarely the best option. When faced with obstacles, take time to thoughtfully respond rather than react. Honestly assess the situation before choosing an action.
De-personalize the situation. What advice would you give a friend? Objectivity is easier to find when you take your ego out of the equation. Obstacles seem smaller when they feel less personal. Although we should always try, few people can be objective at all times. We’re all products of our past, erroneous thinking and limiting beliefs unless we’ve done the work to create better choices. The ability to see the truth lays the groundwork for overcoming obstacles and seeing opportunities.
Above all, your mindset matters. When we believe we have options and opportunities we absolutely do. When we believe we don’t, it’s a self-fulfilling-prophecy. As Christopher Reeve said, “A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles.” Turn your obstacles into opportunities and be your own hero!