Written by Michelle Renee
I remember sitting in my car, pulled over on the shoulder of a busy road, engine idling and crying my eyes out. I had lost nearly everything. My career was shattered. My home was filled with ghosts of our attackers that I could not bring myself to face. We never lived in the house on on Elevado Road again. We were making the best of a hotel room until I could figure out what to do next. My daughter was in a state of shock and trauma dealing with blow by blow flashbacks. I was just trying to hold it all together as I unraveled with PTSD, worry and anxiety that was taking a strong hold on my psyche.
I had to somehow, someway, choose to not allow my entire future to look like it did in that moment. I began to ask myself, “What can I do to that will release me from the torment of worry and anxiety?”
In today’s fast-paced world, it’s easy to get caught up in a never-ending cycle of worry and anxiety. Whether it’s about our careers, relationships, health, the state of the world, or recovering from a traumatic event, worrying can consume our thoughts and drain our energy.
Anxiety and worry are always attached to future thinking. When I was pulled over, I was riddled with thoughts about the future. I was so stuck hyper-focused on the traumatic event, survival, and thinking my future was doomed, that I was unable to focus on and be grateful for was right now. I was alive! My daughter was alive! We had family and friends who loved and supported us. I had a car, gas in the tank, and so much more.
Constantly fretting about the future robs us of the present moment and hinders our ability to live a fulfilling life. It’s time to break free from the grips of worry and embrace a more intention focused existence. Here are seven practical strategies that helped me to stop worrying and start living.
“Constantly fretting about the future robs us of the present moment and hinders our ability to live a fulfilling life. ”
IIdentify the source of your worries. To effectively address your worries, it’s important to identify the specific sources of your anxiety. Take some time to reflect on what triggers your worry and write down your concerns. By gaining clarity on the underlying issues, you can begin to develop a plan for managing them more effectively.
Challenge your worrisome thoughts. Worries often stem from irrational or exaggerated thoughts about potential future events. When you catch yourself spiraling into a cycle of negative thinking, challenge those thoughts with logic and evidence. Ask yourself, “Is this worry based on facts or assumptions?” Shifting your perspective and challenging the validity of your worries can help you break free from their grip.
Practice mindfulness. Mindfulness is a powerful tool for grounding yourself in the present moment and reducing anxiety. Engage in activities that encourage mindfulness, such as meditation, deep breathing exercises, or simply focusing on your senses. By bringing your attention to the present, you can release the worries that are rooted in the past or future.
Take action. Instead of letting worries paralyze you, take constructive action to address the issues causing concern. Break down big problems into smaller, manageable tasks, and create a plan to tackle them step by step. Taking action not only empowers you but also redirects your focus from worrying to problem-solving.
Cultivate a supportive network. Sharing your worries with trusted friends, family, or a therapist can provide immense relief. Seek out individuals who offer a listening ear and provide helpful perspectives. Sometimes, verbalizing your concerns and gaining a fresh outlook can alleviate worries and provide valuable support.
Embrace self-care. Taking care of your physical and mental well-being is crucial in managing worry. Engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation, such as exercise, hobbies, spending time in nature, or practicing self-reflection. Prioritizing self-care helps build resilience and equips you with the strength to face challenges without excessive worry.
Accept uncertainty. Recognize that uncertainty is a natural part of life. Rather than trying to control every outcome, focus on accepting the things you cannot change. Embrace the idea that uncertainty offers opportunities for growth and new possibilities, allowing you to approach life with a sense of openness and adaptability.
Worrying can steal precious moments of our lives and prevent us from fully experiencing joy and contentment. By implementing these strategies, you can begin to break free from the grip of worry and cultivate a more peaceful and fulfilling existence. Remember, it takes time and practice to develop new habits, so be patient with yourself. Embrace the journey of letting go of worry, and celebrate the small victories along the way. Life is too precious to be spent worrying; it’s time to start living!
Michelle Renee is the author of Nine Days: Living with My Soul Wide Open After Violent Trauma. Her first book turned Lifetime movie, Held Hostage, is the true-crime story of her and her daughter’s kidnapping. Michelle is a trauma coach, speaker, and entrepreneur.