It has become common practice for people to send a quick text rather than engage in a phone conversation. In some cases, a text may be sufficient communication. But, what about when a friend or loved one is going through a crisis? Is a text enough?
Humans are inherently social creatures; we are biologically, physically, and spiritually wired to interact with others. That warm feeling of human connection is so important in maintaining our overall emotional and physical health. And, it is even more important when we experience an emotional upheaval!
Texts are easy and they can let a person know that he or she is not alone, but they do not lend themselves to any type of deep emotional connection or support. I can remember many times when I was in pain and someone sent a text asking how I was doing. My reply was always, “fine” or “good”. It is nearly impossible to convey feelings in a meaningful way by text. It’s so much easier to just respond with positive words, and that’s what most people do.
By contrast, when the same person called or visited, inevitably during our conversation, emotions surfaced and a deep bond was forged. Nothing can beat the feelings generated by a caring voice, a warm embrace, or simply having someone listening.
“Nothing can beat the feelings generated by a caring voice, a warm embrace, or simply having someone listening.
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Texting may also send the wrong message. While the sender may have the best of intentions, the receiver can often believe the person doesn’t really care. It may appear to be an impersonal, hollow gesture that often provides little of what is truly needed.
As a society we have allowed texting to take the place of meaningful support and consolation. I can recall a conversation with grief expert, David Kessler, in which he told me that many people today believe that writing “hugs and kisses” when a person is grieving is the same as personal contact. Those niceties offer some comfort, and they may be appropriate from people with whom you don’t have a close relationship, but they are no where near what a person in pain needs, especially from someone considered to be an intimate friend or family member.
So, the next time you have a friend or loved one who could use some support, forego the text and take a few minutes to make a call. None of us are too busy to take time to offer genuine encouragement, reassurance, and compassion. There’s a lot to be said for holding someone’s hand, and you never know when you’re going to be the person who needs hand holding!