A few days ago I was looking through photos from my childhood and I started reminiscing about family members who have passed or with whom I’ve lost contact. One memory was front and center because it jarred strong emotions within me.
My father’s cousin was a wonderful man who was a high level production executive for the ABC television network. He started as an elevator operator and worked his way up to a vice president. When I was in high school, on a few occasions, my sister and I would travel into New York City and he would bring us on a tour of the soap opera sets while shows were being filmed. I was an avid ABC soap fan - from Ryan’s Hope to General Hospital - so this was a fantastic experience for me. At the time I didn’t understand the magnitude of his role with the network, but I do recall that no matter where we went people stopped what they were doing and made sure to say hello to him, and to greet us.
“Don’t be closed minded or allow your fears to keep you trapped. Sometimes you don’t know what you think you know. ”
While in college, I studied communication and any time I was in his company, he took an interest in me and my studies. He asked questions about what I learning and if I enjoyed the work. At the end of every conversation he said, “Call me when you’re ready.”
Growing up I was groomed to believe that I would get married after college and settle into the role of wife and mother. No place in my frame of reference was the thought that I could, or would, have a high level career, such as what could have developed from what he offered to me. To be honest, the thought of traveling into New York City and working at a place like ABC television terrified me. And so, I ignored his instruction and played it safe. I did what was expected of me. I married my college sweetheart and took a job that helped pay the bills until I started a family.
After I graduated from college and didn’t reach out to him, he never made the offer again. He was always loving and supportive of me, but he didn’t suggest that I call. I guess he figured I wasn’t interested and that was okay with him.
The irony of the story is that many years later, after I got divorced, I launched a career in media production. Everything I have built has been on my own, and was done the hard way. I often think about what my life would be like today if I made that call. I love the work and I’m good at it, so I know I would have gone far. He obviously saw something in me that I didn’t know existed. But, for many years, I allowed fear and the expectations of others to keep me small. And now, I regret not having a conversation with him.
So, my advice to everyone is to make the call. No matter what opportunity is being presented to you, whether you think you want it or not, learn the details, weigh your options, and then make an informed decision. Don’t be closed minded or allow your fears to keep you trapped. Sometimes you don’t know what you think you know.