Just about everyone has had an experience that has led to wondering if there’s a way forward. Sometimes it’s so devastating that you can’t see a path no matter how hard you try. According to Dr. Ken Druck, it’s not always clear how to go on. And that’s okay! In his book, How We Go On: Self-Compassion, Courage, and Gratitude on the Path Forward, he offers a guide for when we find ourselves feeling lost, uncertain, or even terrified about the road ahead.
In a recent conversation Dr. Druck offered some guidance.
On getting stuck:
We all have “what now?” moments in which we get kind of frozen. We think: I don’t want to screw this up.
On staying comfortable:
It’s the devil we don’t know. It’s being scared. The fear holds us back and creates resistance.
On moving forward:
Give ourselves permission to be human - to be rattled and to not know. We have to learn. We have to summon new found courage. The second rule is to make sure we have our foot off our throat and our hand on our heart. Self compassion is one of the key elements to how we go on.
On teaching our children:
They are watching. How we frame what’s happening in our lives. How we treat one another. How we relate to our families. The imprint of the way we’re acting sets the template for how they are going out in the world and adulting.