Losing a loved one to cancer can be a painful and difficult time. It can lead a person to question everything about their life. Robert Pardi experienced the devastating loss of his young wife to metastatic breast cancer. Her passing prompted him to re-imagine a new way to live with a new sense of purpose. In moving forward he asked himself, “What would be a great story to come from this life shift?”
Today, Robert is a coach who empowers, guides, and inspires people to rise above complacency and live what he calls Possibility in Action. In a recent conversation he discussed his journey.
On changing his way of life:
My wife's journey with cancer was the catalyst for my transformation. Over the 11 years Desiree managed metastatic breast cancer, I became her caregiver, her coach, and her advocate. It was during this time that I began to question my own life and the purpose behind it. Together, we confronted our fears, found joy in the present moment, and discovered the power of possibility.
Throughout this journey, I realized that life is not about the quantity of days we have, but the quality of the moments we create. That the moments of joy are the best indicator of a well lived life. Desiree and I decided that adversity, of any kind, in this case being cancer, was not going to be the dominant color on the canvas of our life. It was to be used as an accent color to highlight joy. Seeing the strength and resilience I helped my wife maintain in the face of her illness inspired me to embrace living life fully and create a meaningful impact on others.
When she passed, I was forced to re-imagine my life and found a new sense of purpose. I became committed to helping others overcome their fears, find joy in the present moment, and create a life of possibility. I also followed my own advice by asking myself, “What would be a great story to come from this life shift?”. And so, I decided to follow a childhood dream and move to Italy.
I then formed Possibility in Action, which has become my life's work. I also wrote three books, the last being Possibility in Action. I was left with a deep sense of purpose to help others live their lives to the fullest. I realized that my true passion was helping people recognize their potential and find the courage to pursue their dreams.
“Possibility is the key to unlocking a life that is full of joy, fulfillment, and purpose.”
On the meaning of possibility:
Possibility is everything to me. It's the very essence of why I do what I do. I've seen firsthand how so many people go through life feeling stuck, lost, and unfulfilled, with a deep sense that there must be more to life than what they're currently experiencing. They feel like they're living in a box, limited by their circumstances and unable to break free. And it breaks my heart because I've been there myself.
But the truth is, there is so much more to life than what we can currently see. Possibility is the key to unlocking a life that is full of joy, fulfillment, and purpose. It's the belief that anything is possible if we're willing to take action, push through our fears, and pursue our dreams relentlessly. That is why I say all the time, “Possibilities exist all around us but without action they remain in the land of wishing”.
For me, possibility is about creating a life that is intentional, where we're not just going through the motions but living with purpose and passion. It's about finding the courage to take risks, to challenge ourselves, and to push beyond our comfort zones.
And the pain point that possibility addresses is that feeling of being stuck and unfulfilled. When we embrace possibility, we're able to break free from the constraints that have been holding us back and create a life that is truly our own. Complacency is not what life is meant to be.
That's why I'm so passionate about helping others discover the power of possibility. I believe that everyone has the potential to create a life that they love, and I'm committed to helping them do just that. Because when we live with possibility, we become the author of our life story.
On staying in possibility:
Staying in possibility requires a shift in mindset from limitations to opportunities. It starts with taking ownership of your life and acknowledging that you have the power to create the future you want. One way to do this is to practice gratitude and focus on what you have, rather than what you lack.
Another important aspect of staying in possibility is to be intentional in your actions. This means setting clear goals, creating a plan of action, and taking consistent steps towards your desired outcome. It's about taking action even in the face of uncertainty and being willing to learn and adapt as you go.
Incorporating techniques, such as focusing on your strengths, setting boundaries, daydreaming, harnessing childlike enthusiasm, viewing life as an opportunity, and practicing self-compassion, all help you stay in possibility. By shifting your perspective to what is possible, rather than what is impossible, you can tap into your inner resources and create a sense of empowerment and purpose.
Finally, it's important to surround yourself with positive and supportive people who uplift and encourage you. Having a community of like-minded individuals who share your vision and values can help you stay accountable and motivated on your journey towards possibility.
Remember, staying in possibility is not a one-time event, but an ongoing practice. By taking intentional action and cultivating a growth mindset, you can create a life of purpose, fulfillment, and possibility.
On taking chances:
From my experience working with individuals over the years, fear is the primary reason why people are hesitant to take chances. Fear of failure, fear of the unknown, fear of making mistakes - these emotions can be overwhelming and paralyzing, leaving us stuck in a rut, unable to move forward.
But here's the thing - nothing is permanent. Everything is in a state of constant flux, and impermanence is the only thing we can truly count on. When we understand this, we realize that taking chances isn't as scary as it seems. Even if things don't work out the way we intended, we can always learn from our experiences and adapt accordingly.
I often remind my clients that life is too valuable to stay stuck in fear and regret. We need to embrace the uncertainty of life and recognize that taking chances is the only way we can truly grow and evolve. When we're able to shift our perspective and see failure as an opportunity for growth, we start to take bolder, more courageous steps towards our goals.
Of course, this is easier said than done, and it's natural to feel scared or uncertain when we're taking a chance. But the key is to not let those emotions control us. Instead, we need to take action in spite of them, pushing ourselves outside of our comfort zones and towards possibility.
On pushing through fear:
Fear is something that holds us all back at one point or another. It's an emotion that can paralyze us, make us feel small, and prevent us from reaching our full potential. But fear is also something that we can learn to overcome. When we push through fear, we become stronger, more resilient, and more capable of achieving our goals. These strategies, which I have used myself, have helped my clients take courageous steps towards their dreams, and I believe they can help you too.
· Acknowledge and name the fear. “Name it to tame it”. The first step in overcoming fear is acknowledging it and naming it. Once we understand what we're afraid of, we can start to tackle it head-on.
· Humor. I am a big Harry Potter fan and if you know the books or movies, you know there is a spell called “ridiculous”. Such a focus can help to put things in perspective and alleviate some of the tension that fear can create.
· Plan for fear: This is a Stoic practice, but plan for the worst-case scenario. By doing this, we can take the necessary steps to prepare ourselves mentally and emotionally for whatever might happen.
· Be your alter ego: As I mentioned earlier, we need to acknowledge fear. Then we can choose to be an alter ego to our fear. We can adopt a persona or mindset that is courageous and confident, even if we don't necessarily feel that way at first.
· Take small steps: Instead of trying to tackle our fear all at once, we can break it down into smaller, manageable steps. This can help us build confidence and momentum as we push through our fear.
On grief and navigating challenges:
First, I want to acknowledge that grief and navigating challenging experiences can be incredibly difficult and painful. It's important to recognize that everyone's journey is unique and there is no right or wrong way to grieve or navigate a challenging experience. The other thing I want people to realize is that we do not “get-over” or “move-on” – we move forward with. Loss forever changes us. As I am known to say, “We fall apart to only fall back together – whole but different”. However, I do believe that there are certain principles that can help us all find hope and healing in the face of adversity.
One of the most important things we can do is to embrace impermanence. Change is inevitable, and by accepting that everything is impermanent, we can learn to let go of attachments and find new possibilities in the midst of difficult times. This can be incredibly empowering and help us find meaning and purpose in our lives, even in the midst of great loss. I will provide an exercise below.
Another important principle is the power of community and connection. We need support and love from others to help us through difficult times, and it's important to reach out and connect with others who can offer us comfort and understanding. This can be through support groups, therapy, or simply talking with friends and family members.
Finally, when it comes to dealing with grief, self-care is essential. It's important to give yourself permission to take the time and space you need to process your emotions, and to move at a pace that feels comfortable for you.
One thing to keep in mind is that grief is a highly individualized experience. Everyone experiences it differently, and there is no "right" or "wrong" way to grieve. Some people may feel a need to stay busy and keep their minds occupied, while others may need more time alone to reflect and process their emotions. Some people may find solace in talking to friends and loved ones, while others may prefer to keep their feelings to themselves.
Remember, healing from grief is not a linear process. There will be good days and bad days, and it's important to be gentle and compassionate with yourself throughout the journey. By engaging in self-care and moving at your own pace, you can begin to find your way through the pain and towards a place of healing and acceptance.
I hope that these principles can offer some comfort and guidance to those who are grieving or navigating challenging experiences.
IMPERMANCE:
1. Find a quiet, natural setting where you can be alone for a few minutes. It could be a park, a forest, a beach, or any other natural setting that resonates with you.
2. Spend some time observing the natural environment around you. Notice the trees, the plants, the animals, the clouds, and the sky. Take in the beauty and wonder of the natural world.
3. Reflect on the impermanence of nature. Remember how the trees lose their leaves, how the clouds pass, how the light changes. If you are looking at the sky, it is not the same sky you were looking at a moment ago. If you are looking at the sea, it is not the same sea you were looking at a moment ago. All of these changes are a natural part of the cycle of life.
4. Take a deep breath and let go of any attachment or resistance you may be feeling towards the impermanence of nature. Allow yourself to be open to the idea that new growth and beauty will emerge as a result of this impermanence.
5. Finally, set an intention to practice impermanence in your daily life, using nature as a reminder. You can do this by taking walks in natural settings, observing the changes in the seasons, or simply by taking a few moments each day to reflect on the impermanence of all things.