Tagged Attitude

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Like A Fine Wine, We Get Better with Age!

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I recently turned 56 years old. 56 YEARS OLD! Like most other 50-something-year-old individuals, I’m not sure how this happened – it feels like a blink of an eye. One day I’m a college girl, the next a young mother, and now more than one half a century old. How can I be over 50? Most days I feel, think and act like a 24-year-old, so I know it’s only a number, but when that AARP membership card arrives.

When I was growing up, I thought 50-plus women were old; they were on the downside of life. Or were they??? I know I’m not the first half centurion to say age is only a number. We have to say that, right? Growing older can be a challenge. We must work hard at looking good, keeping our mind sharp, and maintaining our weight and health. Nothing comes naturally anymore.

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Stop Being Afraid of Being Afraid

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Do you often think about doing something different or implementing a new idea only to allow fear to stop you dead in your tracks without giving the opportunity a try? Do you frequently conjure up a list of reasons to be inactive, why you shouldn’t try or can’t accomplish something?

All too often we build roadblocks to personal and professional success because we allow fear to be a governing force in our life.

Recently, I had the privilege of interviewing for the second time, an incredibly inspiring man, Sean Swarner, who went beyond the bounds of being human and not only faced his fears, but conquered them!

In his teen years, Sean was diagnosed two times with different, unrelated end-stage cancers, and each time he was not expected to live for more than a few weeks. He underwent rigorous treatment, which included the removal of one lung. Throughout his ordeal, Sean wasn’t sure if he would live and he wondered about the future quality of his life. He astounded the medical community when he survived both diseases. But, he didn’t just survive, he emerged stronger than anyone could have imagined!

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Developing Mental Strength

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Developing mental strength was the topic of conversation that I recently had with Amy Morin, author of the 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do series. To be honest, up until a few years ago, I never thought about mental strength or the role it played in my life. I just lived, moment to moment, blindly existing. It wasn’t until my life literally imploded and I came out the other side that I started to wonder how I made it through those challenges, relatively unscathed.

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The Music Comes On and the Dance Begins

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One of the questions that I am often asked by email, via Facebook, or during my lectures, is how to permanently end a relationship with someone that is a negative force in a person’s life. I have heard many terms to describe these types of people, but one of my favorites is energy vampire, because the person zaps the life out of you.

A relationship doesn’t have to be romantic to fall into the toxic category.

Ending a relationship can be one of life’s greatest challenges. We all have a few people in our lives that we allow to treat us in a manner less than we deserve. Cognitively we know that if we don’t change something, the result will be the same, but once that music starts, we jump right into the same old dance.

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Eliminate the Number One Relationship Killer

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Communication is an important part, if not the most important part, of any relationship. The way you communicate has a major impact on your ability to get along with the various people in your life – spouses, children, coworkers, friends, and neighbors. When communication breaks down, relationships suffer. According to recent research, poor communication is the number one reason why couples (and friendships) break up.

Any relationship worth having experiences conflict at some point. The conflict isn’t the problem (conflict is a natural part of intimacy), how the situation is handled is the determining factor in whether the relationship will deepen or be torn apart.

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Spend Valentine’s Day with the Love of Your Life

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­I was watching television recently when it happened … I saw the first commercial for the Valentine’s Day diamond collection – you know, the gift that every woman will treasure. As I listened to the music and watched as the camera panned the romantic setting, waves of emotion overcame me like a tsunami. At that moment, in my mind, everyone in the world was in a loving, committed relationship and I was going to be the only person sitting home alone on February 14 (most likely eating ice cream).

Realistic assumption? Of course not. But for a few minutes the drama queen in me took over and my emotions ran wild. Fortunately, I was able to reign them in, but the feelings I experienced are very common.

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Are You Okay with Maybe?

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I’m a control freak. There … I said it. I like everything to be in perfect order. I have a difficult time when there is a mess in my surroundings or in my life. Being a person who is addicted to certainty is manageable when everything goes as planned, but what happens when life throws a curve ball? That’s when things get interesting!

As a driven, type A personality, I made sure it was all in order. College … marriage … two kids … a house with a fence … money in the bank. I left nothing to chance. There was always a master plan.

Then, one day, without warning, it all began to unravel. At first it wasn’t anything major, a few issues here and there, but before long, piece by piece, my life fell apart. And when it did, I didn’t know how to cope. I was a person who was addicted to certainty and everything was out of my control. Fear of the unknown consumed me.

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Remembering the Love

The holiday season is upon us. It’s a time when people gather to celebrate with those we love. As the song states, it can be the most wonderful time of the year, but, it also can be the loneliest. If you have lost a loved one or suffered a breakup with a spouse/significant other or friend, the holiday season is a constant reminder of the pain.

I know that pain all too well. It wasn’t that long ago that I spent most of my time grieving the loss of my mother, sister and marriage (all within a period of six months). During the holidays (and to be honest most any other day), I would scroll through social media posts, watch TV shows and commercials, and long for the fun and love shared by friends and family. Everyone appeared to be living Hallmark moments, except me.

Grief at any time of the year is painful, but it feels especially traumatic during the holidays.

I recently had a conversation with grief expert, David Kessler, in which we spoke about the stages of grief and how the feelings that accompany a loss can be heightened during the holiday season. While it’s natural to try to suppress the painful memories, according to David, “Healing doesn’t mean forgetting, it means remembering with more love than pain.” And, he says, that happens with time.

To better understand what you may be feeling, David explained the stages of grief, which were created and adapted by he and Elizabeth Kubler Ross. David cautioned that these stages do not necessarily occur in order and they may repeat.

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Crazy Eight!

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Eight years ago this month, I published the first issue of 24 Seven magazine. I had never untaken anything on my own of such magnitude.

What was once a seemingly crazy idea, has blossomed into more than I could ever have imagined. The magazine’s pages have been graced with the wisdom of so many inspiring and influential thought-leaders; people who are making a real difference in the world. And, each has entrusted me with his or her words.

I spend most days on autopilot, never really grasping the scope of where my brand is going. On some level I understand it, but on another, I am totally amazed.

This morning when I visited our digital hosting site, I learned that the October issue, from this site alone, was viewed more than 739,000 times. Nearly one million people opened my publication. I would be lying if I didn’t admit that I am humbled to know that this “little” digital magazine is touching so many lives!

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When Your Ex Gets Remarried

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I recently learned that my ex husband got engaged. After living for more than three decades with this man in my life, I must admit, hearing this news was a punch in the gut. I spent the next two days with a horrible feeling surrounding me, you know that uneasiness you get in your stomach after someone close passes away? My body was on edge, I shook inside, and could not shed the anxiousness of impending doom. Even with all of the horrific things that transpired between us, I had an emotional reaction to his engagement.

I’m not really sure why I felt the way I did. I knew he was dating someone exclusively and we haven’t been part of each other’s lives for six years (as he severed all ties when he met her), and yet, I felt a tremendous sense of loss. Loss of the life we were supposed to live, loss of the family I so desperately wanted, loss of many dreams.

I thought I had grieved the divorce and moved on, my life is on a wonderful trajectory and I’m happy, but, there I was again, right in the middle of the pain. Divorce truly is the gift that just keeps giving!

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