For about a year now, we’ve been living through challenging times. When we examine or talk about the pandemic, often it is in terms of illness or economic instability. But, what about the impact it has had on our romantic relationships?

When first dating many dream about being “locked away” with the object of their desire. But, does that dream hold true many years later when there is an actual lockdown?

Having a good marriage is difficult in normal times and confinement and isolation doesn't make it any easier. So how can relationships continue to thrive?

Accept that the situation is hard. It would be foolish and wishful thinking to assume that this pandemic could remain without an impact on a couple's relationship. If you accept that your own definition of normal has just been turned upside down, you can lower the demands not only on yourself but also on your partner. 

Create personal space. Designate an area to be your own. Share your needs and concerns with your partner. If physical space is a problem, then find work together to find ways to leave the other person alone. Take a walk or run errands, allowing your partner time to him/herself.

Practice the pause. Take a moment before you automatically respond. During times of high stress, there is a tendency to react defensively. When you check in with yourself and take a moment before responding, your communication will be more effective.

Present your best self. Periods of stress can impact your ability to care for yourself and others. Unfortunately, your partner is often directly impacted by these struggles. It is more important than ever to practice self care. Force yourself to shower and forego the sweats. Comb your hair and throw on some cologne. Your sexuality is strongly influenced by how you feel about yourself.

Try something new. The old routine may no longer work. Develop new interests or take part in activities that present challenges or excitement. When you feel better emotionally you are better able to handle difficult situations.

Date. Just because you are “stuck” together doesn’t mean the romance has to be gone. Pick a date night and make all of the preparations for the special event. Put all of your concerns aside and engage in conversation as you would if you were dating. This will help you see each other as man or woman and not in the role you have assumed in the relationship.

Remember you are a team. Isolation does not have to be a bad thing.  Maintaining closeness with your partner during this time takes work, but it can have positive results for everyone involved. Times of uncertainty are difficult, but making a concerted effort to stay connected and close could be beneficial for your relationship.