Have you ever looked in the mirror and told yourself you are “fat” or “ugly”? Have you ever thought you were “stupid” after making a mistake? Have you ever believed you’re unlovable or not worthy of something good? A lack of self love can show up in many different ways and impact every aspect of your life. It affects your confidence causing you to lose sight of your self worth, and leads to self criticism and judgement. These thoughts make it difficult for you to believe you deserve love and respect, or for anything good to happen.

Learning to love yourself means that you accept yourself fully, treat yourself with kindness and respect, and nurture your growth and well-being. It encompasses how you feel about yourself, think about yourself, and how you treat yourself.

Self-love is a daily practice that increases self-esteem and self-acceptance. When you love yourself, you will no longer tolerate unacceptable behavior and settle for less than what you deserve. It helps you take better care of yourself.

The most important relationship you have in life is the one with yourself and yet it is the one we put the least effort into fostering. Here are a five of my favorite way to cultivate self love:

Become aware of negative self talk. Being mindful of the way you think about yourself offers the opportunity to change it. Without awareness, you will not be able to break the cycle. Try not to attach an emotion to your thoughts. Remember they are only thoughts and are not real.

Treat yourself like you would a friend. Offer love and care to yourself the way you would a friend in need. Push your ego aside and try to make your compassionate side dominant. Cherish the relationship you have with yourself.

Forgive yourself for mistakes. Making mistakes is part of being human. Let yourself off the hook and make peace with your past. Learn to accept your weaknesses and view them as learning experiences.

Stop comparing and start appreciating. It’s difficult to practice self love when you are constantly comparing yourself to others. Be grateful for all that you have. Appreciating what you have can make you feel more optimistic and satisfied and experience less frustration, envy, and regret. 

Set boundaries. Don’t be afraid to say “no” and put your needs first. Setting healthy boundaries is essential to feeling good about yourself and life.

You spend every day from cradle to grave with yourself. You can either put yourself down, sabotage your dreams, and make the existence miserable, or you can be kind, loving, and gentle. Given the choice, which relationship would you rather be in?