Steps to Cultivate a Positive Relationship with Money
Most people want to make more money and live an abundant life. But the problem is, many people have a poor relationship with money. Financial success starts in the mind and the way you think can be the determining factor in whether or not you achieve financial success.
I remember a story my friend, Rose, told me when she was lamenting about her financial lot in life. For as long as she can remember, Rose has feared money. Growing up, she watched her parents argue constantly about finances. They struggled to make ends meet, and the stress of their money problems made the household tense and unstable. To Rose, money represented chaos, conflict, and loss of control. As she got older, she carried that fear with her.
Rose worked hard, but every paycheck felt like a reminder of her inadequacy. She lived paycheck to paycheck, too afraid to look at her bank account, let alone plan for the future. Any time she received a raise or a bonus, it disappeared quickly, spent impulsively on things she didn’t even need. Deep down, she feared that if she had money, she wouldn’t know how to handle it, and she’d lose it all anyway.
The fear gnawed at her, affecting her self-esteem. She told herself she wasn’t good with money, that she’d never have enough, and that wealth was for other people — people who were smarter, luckier, and more capable. It was a cycle: fear of money led to avoidance, and avoidance kept her stuck in the same place.
Does this story sound familiar? Many people are like Rose - afraid of money and they don’t know it. This fear can manifest in different ways, such as avoiding financial decisions, feeling anxious about checking bank accounts, or being overwhelmed by the responsibilities that come with managing money
Releasing fear around money and cultivating a positive relationship with it involves transforming deeply rooted beliefs, shifting your mindset, and creating practical financial habits. Here are five ways you can begin the process:
Examine your beliefs about money. Fear of money often stems from negative beliefs, many of which we inherit from family, culture, or past experiences. Start by identifying what these beliefs are. Common negative beliefs include:
"Money is the root of all evil."
"Rich people are greedy."
"I’ll never be able to manage money well."
Once you recognize these limiting beliefs, challenge them. Ask yourself, “Is this belief absolutely true?” You may find that these beliefs are outdated, untrue, or harmful. Replace them with more empowering beliefs such as, "Money is a tool that can be used for good," or "I am capable of learning how to manage my finances.”
Shift from a scarcity to an abundance mindset. Many people operate from a mindset of scarcity, believing that there’s never enough money or that wealth is difficult to attain. This scarcity mindset fuels fear and stress. To release this fear, work on shifting to an abundance mindset.
Practice gratitude for what you already have. Whether it’s a steady income, a roof over your head, or even small luxuries. Focus on appreciating what’s available to you.
Imagine yourself financially secure and flourishing. Envision a life where you have an abundant flow of money and feel confident in managing it. Visualizing success can help retrain your brain to focus on possibilities rather than limitations.
Use positive affirmations daily. Phrases like “I am worthy of financial abundance,” or “Money flows easily to me”, can help reprogram your thoughts.
Develop practical financial skills. Sometimes, fear of money stems from feeling overwhelmed by it. Developing practical skills can help reduce fear and increase confidence. Understanding where your money is going and setting intentional limits helps you feel more in control. Track your income, expenses, and savings to build a clearer financial picture. Having a financial cushion for unexpected events reduces the anxiety of uncertainty and makes you feel more secure.
Heal your relationship with money. Often the fear around money is deeply emotional. Write down your thoughts and feelings. This process can uncover hidden fears and patterns about which you might not be consciously aware. Reflect on your earliest memories of money and how those shaped your current attitudes. If you've made financial mistakes in the past, forgive yourself. No one is perfect with money, and viewing mistakes as learning opportunities helps remove shame and guilt.
If your fear around money is paralyzing, consider seeking the help of a financial therapist or coach. They can guide you through emotional blockages and provide tools to build a healthier relationship with money.
Redefine the purpose of money. Rather than seeing money as a source of fear or stress, start viewing it as a tool for freedom, security, and positive impact. Money in itself is neutral — how you use it determines its impact. Focus on how you can use money to support your goals, contribute to causes you care about, or create security for your loved ones. Align your financial decisions with your values to create a more meaningful connection with money.
Releasing fear around money is a process that requires both mental shifts and practical actions. In doing so, you’ll not only reduce fear but also empower yourself to create a financially abundant and fulfilling life.