Written by Joan Herrmann

When you start a personal growth journey your energy changes. The very essence of who you are becomes different. Many friends and even family are no longer an energetic match for you and they may resist and even dislike who you’re becoming. Healing and personal growth can be a challenging and uncomfortable process, both for you and for those around you. This often leads to the loss of people you care about. 

Sometimes, people might distance themselves from you because they are uncomfortable with the changes you're making. Maybe they're used to the old you and don't know how to relate to the new you

Years ago when I was trying to figure out who I was and what I wanted, my then husband would say, “I want the old Joanie back.” I couldn’t understand what he meant because to me I was the same person. I didn’t see or feel any different. But in the process of adding myself into our relationship equation (for the first time) and standing my ground, I unknowingly changed my energy and our marital dynamics. His inability or lack of desire to support and encourage my growth ultimately led to the end of our marriage. It took me years to realize that no one did anything wrong; he was just comfortable with my old energy and how our relationship was and he did not want anything to be different.

It’s okay if some people don’t understand you after you grow and change. Butterfly language is never understood by those who still speak caterpillar.

Having to let go of loved ones is one of the reasons people abandon their growth and slip back into old, familiar patterns. It’s painful to let go, there’s nothing easy about walking your path.

Losing friends or loved ones may result in being alone for a time. This may make you feel sad or lonely. Use this time as an opportunity to get to know who you are and what you want. Learn to be comfortable with yourself. After awhile, you will attract people who are better suited for the person you are becoming.

Here are four tips to help you with the process:

Grieve a loss, but don’t allow guilt or regret to consume you. Remember the saying, people are with you for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.

Surround yourself with those who support and uplift you. They will help you evolve into the person you want to be. 

Eliminate what you no longer want or will tolerate in your life. Establish boundaries for acceptable behavior.

Factor your needs into any relationship equation. You’re not a selfish or terrible person for asking, “What about me?”

Remember, personal growth is an ongoing journey and not a destination. While it may not always be easy, it will always be worth it!