February 2012

Each time we face our fear, we gain strength, courage, and confidence in the doing.

Do you often think about doing something different or implementing a new idea only to allow fear to stop you dead in your tracks without giving the opportunity a try? Do you frequently conjure up a list of reasons to be inactive, why you shouldn’t try or can’t accomplish something?

All too often we build roadblocks to personal and professional success because we allow fear to be a governing force in our life.

Recently I had the privilege of interviewing two incredibly inspiring people, Sean Swarner and Jessica Cox, both of whom had every opportunity to let fear dictate their life.

Sean was diagnosed two times with different end-stage cancers and each time was not expected to live for more than a few weeks. He underwent rigorous treatment, which included the removal of one lung. He survived and emerged strong and has made it his life mission to encourage people by challenging himself beyond what most of us can comprehend. Sean decided that if he can survive cancer, he can do anything. At first he climbed Mount Everest and then asked himself, “Why stop there?” He has since climbed the seven summits of the world to provide hope and to prove that anything is possible.

Jessica was born without arms. Jessica entered this world with challenges most will never experience. In spite of them all, she learned to swim, drive a car, fly an airplane, earn two black belts in taekwondo, graduate from college, surf, scuba dive, and live independently using her feet in ways others who take their hands for granted can only imagine.

Both Sean and Jessica could have chosen to live their life in fear, but instead they understood that fear is nothing more than a mindset, a perception, False Evidence Appearing Real, and as such, we have the power to eliminate it.

The next time you’re faced with an overwhelming challenge, an opportunity to try something new, or the chance to step out of your comfort zone, take some time to evaluate the driving force behind your fear. Is it a “real” consideration or something that you have created in your mind? Make a list of your concerns and attack them one by one. Ask yourself, “What is the worst thing that can happen?” (btw…it usually doesn’t). Muster up the courage and take a chance. It isn’t the end result that matters…it’s the journey. You may just surprise yourself!

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January 2012

In the depth of winter I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer. ~ Albert Camus

Happy New Year!

As another new year begins, it is time for my first message of the year. I have spent hours pondering what I want this important message to be, as it sets the tone for the year ahead. As I reflected on 2011, and all the wonderful things that have happened to me, I realized that the message is simple: Even in the darkest moments of your life, there is strength within you (that you don’t even know exists) and, if you don’t give up and succumb to the negative feelings, you will realize that there is hope and that better times lie ahead.

For someone who is going through an extremely traumatic period in life, you may believe that I am preaching bull because you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel or because you believe that your life is over. While the life that you know may be over, or to be more correct, changed, there is definitely light at the end of the tunnel. Trust me…I know.

You see, up until recently, I lived a pretty charmed life. I had wonderful parents and a loving family. I got married immediately after graduating from college. We bought a nice home, had two kids and great friends. I was living the dream. Then from August 2010 until January 2011, in a period of five months, everything changed. Little did I know when I began my work about the importance of a positive attitude (which I always believed), that I would become the greatest student of the lessons. During those five months, my 23-year marriage fell apart, my mother and sister (my last remaining original family members) died, my dear friend lost her battle with brain cancer, and a trusted friend betrayed me. In those months, I lost almost everything that I knew. I lost my security. I felt alone and vulnerable. The life I knew no longer existed.

People often fall apart from experiencing any one of these events. For some reason, I experienced them all at once. I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t knocked down. There were dark moments when I questioned whether I wanted to keep going. While deep down I knew I would never take my own life, there were moments when I thought about it.

Fortunately, due to my work, those really dark moments were fleeting. I became the student of the people I interviewed. I read the books, learned the lessons, and shared the wisdom. I spent much time thinking, writing, reflecting, and getting in touch with myself. Being an active participant in the process of healing saved my life. I learned the importance of a positive attitude and CHOSE to see the gifts and lessons being offered to me. I have found my inner strength and am learning how to count on ME and love ME!

Now when I look back over 2011, while there may be a twinge of sadness, the pain does not engulf me and I am able to say that many wonderful things have happened to me.

So, as 2012 begins, no matter what you are experiencing, always remember that change, resulting in pain and sadness, is inevitable. But if you embrace it, learn from it and grow with it, you will realize that you are strong and that there will always be an invincible summer within. Sometimes it’s just a bit more challenging to find …  but it’s always there.

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December 2011

Happy Holidays!

This time of year, from Thanksgiving through the New Year celebration, is a season that provides for us the opportunity to stop our busy lives for a moment and give thanks for our many gifts and blessings; it’s a time of birth and renewal. No matter what your religion or belief structure, it’s a time when we can come together and celebrate new beginnings.

Often, however, we get so caught up in the festivities that we forget the true meaning of the season; we are so involved in “getting everything done,” that we miss the message. We may be more cognizant of this fact during the holiday season, but in reality many of us miss the message every day, all year long. We spend so much time worrying about ourselves, fulfilling expectations, and striving to get ahead, that we forget that we are here to love others unselfishly and to help those less fortunate.

We plow through life with blinders on and are oblivious to what is going on around us.

I would like you to take a moment during this holiday season, as another year comes to an end, and examine your life; take a look at where you are heading and see if you are pleased with the direction. Ask yourself a few questions:

When was the last time you held the hand of a friend in need?

When was the last time you drove an elderly person to the supermarket or to a doctor appointment?

When was the last time you offered assistance with no expectation of something in return?

When was the last time you put the needs of another ahead of your own?

When was the last time you decided that compassion was more important than being right and offered someone forgiveness?

When was the last time you asked to be forgiven?

When was the last time you said, “I love you”?

Use this special time of year to look within and allow your inner beauty to come out. Offer your gifts to others. Reflect on what is important and let the true meaning of life into your heart. Stop going through life mindless and self-centered. Slow down, take time to live, and share your blessings.

May peace and love fill your heart and bring you joy this holiday season and throughout the year!

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November 2011

My path has not been determined. I shall have more experiences and pass many more milestones. ~Agnetha Faltskog

One year ago this month, CYACYL: 24/seven magazine premiered. Having worked in publishing for many years, I often imagined what it would be like to publish my own magazine. But to be honest, I never really thought it was something that would happen.

After Change Your Attitude…Change Your Life had been on the radio for a little more than a year, I realized that I could increase the number of people reached by creating and publishing an accompanying magazine. That was the seed for what was to come – a publication that today, is beyond anything I could have ever imagined.

Today, CYACYL: 24/seven is distributed to more than 120,000 readers and is available to thousands more via social media and website linkage. And the numbers are increasing rapidly. People frequently write to share stories about how the publication has impacted their lives.

Throughout the year, the pages of the magazine have been graced with the words of wise leaders who have much to offer the world. I want to take this opportunity to thank these people who when I asked for their participation all responded “yes” without any hesitation.

Thank you Joel Osteen, Christiane Northrup, Steve Goodier, Judith Orloff, Ed and Deb Shapiro, Michelle Phillips, Dr. Mao, Matthew Walker, James Martin, Susan Piver, Julia Valentine, Xorin Balbes, Tanya Brown, Brian Glatt, Michael Sapienza, Mojdeh Haghverdi, Rudy Ruffo, Eric Murphy, Todd Daigneault, Alex Guarnashelli, Spike Mendelsohn, Julie Genovese, Robert Irvine, Shaun T, Leigh Fortson, Chrissy Carew, Patricia Singer, Jennifer Griola, Jane Ruffo, Allison Fishman, Ann Gentry, Lawrence Rosen, Joanne Klinger, and Mayra Reyes for sharing your message and expertise with us.

Also, thank you to the companies that have supported the publication. If you enjoy reading the magazine, please patronize our sponsors because they make the magazine possible.

CYACYL: 24/seven is proof that with a dream, hard work, God’s loving hand, and belief in oneself, anything is possible. As I celebrate this milestone, I truly believe that this is only the beginning of many wonderful things to come and I look to the future with optimism and excitement.

The next time you are discouraged or doubt your ability to achieve your dream, please remember this magazine and remember my humble words, “If I can do it…you can too!”

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October 2011

How many times do you repeat the same behavior, over and over again, and get angry or upset when you don’t achieve the outcome you desire? How long do you think it will take before you finally “get it” and learn the lesson? What would if take for you to make the change necessary in order to move forward?

Recently I attended the Hay House “I Can Do It” event in New York City. Dr. Wayne Dyer was a speaker and during his presentation he talked about how we often do the same things over and over again expecting a different result. He spoke about the importance of knowing when it is time to take a different path. He shared a story that illustrates this behavior, which I will paraphrase loosely:

Day one, you walk down the street and fall into a large hole in the road. You believe there is a way out and it takes you time to determine the best action. Eventually you craft a plan, climb out of the hole, and continue on your way.

Day two, you walk down the same street, come upon the same hole, and once again fall in. You recall falling in this hole, and after some thought remember the plan to free yourself. You climb out and continue down the road.

Day three, you walk down the same street, come upon the same hole and fall in once again. You quickly remember the way out and continue down the road.

Day four, you walk down the same street, come upon the same hole, only this time you walk around it and continue down the road.

Day five, you walk down a different street.

This story is a wonderful example of what so many of us do on a regular basis. We repeat the same action expecting that each time we will not come upon the hole or fall in it.

I know I often repeat patterns that simply don’t work. I continually make the same mistakes: This will be the time he/she will not betray me and I will not get hurt; if I explain my feelings again (sometimes for what seems like the thousandth time) this will be the time he/she will understand and see my point of view. More often than not, I end up frustrated, sad, angry or disappointed.

I’m not advising anyone to not offer second chances or to give up on people, but what I am saying is that we must at some point be cognizant that what we are doing may not be working and that it is time for a fresh outlook or different approach. Other people will not always change so we must change; we can only control how we think or behave.

Albert Einstein said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Perhaps it’s time for us to examine our behavior and relationships and see what works. At some point it may be time to stop the insanity and take a different road.

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September 2011

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. - Eleanor Roosevelt

Why not me?

Recently I was speaking with a business associate who was sharing her plans for her company’s growth. She was energetic and full of dreams and ambition. She remarked that her plans involved her appearance on a national interview show. After she made that comment, she began to laugh. When I asked her what was so funny she said that I must think she is crazy. To be honest, the thought had never crossed my mind. I was so impressed by her enthusiasm that I never for one moment believed she could not accomplish her goal. After an attempt to back peddle and explain herself, she asked, “Well, why not me?”

“Why not me?” This is an important question that we should ask ourselves frequently. Why can’t I be the one who writes the book? Why can’t I get a raise or promotion? Why can’t I find the love of my life? Why can’t I be a guest on a national interview show?

Why do we always believe that someone else is more worthy? What makes the other person write the book, get the raise, find love, or sit with Oprah on TV? Belief in him/herself!

When we doubt our abilities and feel that we are less worthy, we portray that image to the world. We don’t take chances or step out of our comfort zone due to fear of failure.

I often speak to groups and during my presentation I encourage the participants to challenge him/herself; to recognize a dream and live in a zone of excellence. If you don’t believe in yourself, you will never fully utilize your gifts and talents. Can I promise that you will always get everything you want? Absolutely not. But I can say with 100 percent certainty that if you don’t try, you will NEVER get what you want.

So the next time you have a dream, ask yourself, “Why not me?”

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August 2011

I walked this path as a young girl holding my mother’s hand as she protected me from the surf.

I walked this path as a teenager (trying to catch the attention of a cute lifeguard) full of hope and promise; the world at my feet.

I walked this path as a newlywed, starry-eyed full of love and anticipation.

And now I walked this path as a woman ready to embark on a different journey, unsure of where the path will lead, but ready to take the steps necessary to reach my new destination.

Spending time at this familiar place, that has meant so much to me throughout my life, gave me a  perspective that will help me meet my new challenges. I am amazed at how much comfort I derived from being there.

If you are going through some type of transition, unsure about your next step, go to a place, physically or in your mind, that is familiar, a place where you feel safe.  Draw strength from the familiarity and search for the clarity that will help you see your next path. Boldly take those first steps. It’s not always easy but you may be surprised where the road will take you!

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July 2011

“Man, alone, has the power to transform his thoughts into physical reality; man, alone, can dream and make his dreams come true. ” – Napoleon Hill

Happy 2nd Anniversary Change Your Attitude…Change Your Life.

Two years ago this month, I began an incredible journey that transcends anything that I could have ever imagined. Two years ago this month I put into motion a dream that, to be honest, I never thought would become a reality.

In creating the radio show, Change Your Attitude…Change Your Life, and then the digital magazine, I was full of self-doubt and fear; I never thought I could make it happen. There were many people in my life that believed in me, encouraged me, and cheered me on. And then, there were those who told me I was crazy, even going as far as to say that I was making a fool of myself.

Throughout the past two years, my thoughts have bounced back and forth from the voices of encouragement and support to the ones of ridicule and disbelief, with the negativity often winning out.

From my journey I have had the opportunity to learn from the masters of self-discovery and self-empowerment. And now I am proud to say that the negative voices, while still there, are no longer the governing forces in my life.

I have learned that we have the power within to create the life we choose. With hard work, perseverance, the elimination of fear and anxiety, belief in oneself, taking a few risks, and faith in God, anything in this life is possible! I am living proof.

Walt Disney, a man who created an empire around a mouse once said, “All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.” Find the courage to pursue your dreams and live the life you have only imagined.

June 2011

There are things that we never want to let go of, people we never want to leave behind. But keep in mind that letting go isn’t the end of the world, it’s the beginning of a new life.” – Unknown

Embracing Change. These are two words that we usually do not use in combination. We do anything but embrace change. Some of us spend our entire lives trying to resist it. Change scares us to death. Many people stay in dead-end jobs or unfulfilling relationships because they are afraid of the unknown. The irony about our approach is that no matter how hard we try to avoid it, change is inevitable; it is a part of life. Without change we become complacent, stagnate, wither, and eventually die, spiritually, emotionally and physically.

We tend to think of change as something negative…perhaps that’s because we seldom notice and appreciate the good in our lives; the times when we are happy. Those moments float by without any fanfare.  It’s the dark moments that encapsulate our being and become the most defining and transformative for us.

While it is not easy, surviving the worst experiences of our lives will make us stronger.  One of my favorite quotes is by Mother Teresa, “I know God will not give me anything I can’t handle. I just wish He didn’t trust me so much.”  While she ended the quote with a joke, the lesson is important – with faith, determination, and a positive attitude, you can get through anything.

You can view change as the end of the world or as the beginning of a new life. The choice is yours.

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May 2011

Live everyday as if it was your last, because one of these days you will be right. – Unknown

Recently a dear friend passed away after a five-year battle with brain cancer. Ann was a young mother of two teenage girls who had her entire life ahead of her. Her fight began one uneventful day when she experienced a seizure while she was cleaning her house. As I watched the progression of this insidious   disease, I often remarked to friends about the fragility of life and how I was going to make the most of each day; how I was going to treasure each day as a gift from God. I meant what I said at the time, but then the realities of life caught up with me and I forgot about the precious gift at hand.

Then a few days ago when I went to the salon for a haircut, my stylist and friend recounted the story of his recent health scare. All turned out well, but he told me that he felt like he was reborn and said that he was going to begin his life anew. He remarked that he thought it was a shame that it took a scare to make him appreciate his good fortune.

My friend’s comment got me thinking about all the blessings in my life that I take for granted and how I muddle through each day barely conscious of my existence. How about you? When was the last time you stopped long enough to notice the beautiful flowers blooming everywhere? When was the last time you phoned someone with whom you have not spoken in a long time? When was the last time you drove from point A to point B and wondered how you arrived?  When was the last time you stopped your chores or work to get on the floor and play with your children? When was the last time you told someone that you loved him/her?

We are not guaranteed a tomorrow. Today, the present, is a gift. Today may be all we have.

One of my favorite songs is Live Like We’re Dying by Kris Allen. In it he reminds us that, “We only got 86,400 seconds in a day to turn it all around or to throw it all away, we gotta tell’em that we love’em while we got the chance to say, gotta live like we’re dying.”

For one day, pretend that there is no tomorrow. Take the next 86,400 seconds and live like you’re dying. What would you do?

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April 2011

It is one of the most beautiful compensations of this life that no man can sincerely try to help  another without helping himself. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

In preparation for an upcoming interview with number one New York Times bestselling author, Debbie Macomber, I read her new book, One Simple Act, in which Debbie shares her own personal thoughts on how  spiritual generosity can bring unforeseen miracles — both small and large — to those who receive and to those who give. The truth in Debbie’s words teaches how God uses us in little ways to care for those around us.

Debbie’s heart-warming stories got me to thinking about our purpose in life and what it really means to be on this earth together.

We tend to think that to make a difference in the world we must act in grandiose ways; making a “big impact” on society. As I watch the world around me, I have come to realize that nothing could be further from the truth. It is not the grand gestures, but the little acts that have the most impact on the lives of others.

The simple, seemingly most insignificant deeds, that usually require the least  effort on our part, are often the most life changing to others.

Stop for a moment and think about something someone recently said to or did for you. How did you feel? What impact did it have on your life? Now think about something you said to or did for someone else? Ask yourself the same questions. We not only benefit when we receive, we receive when we give.

A few weeks ago, I was feeling down. I didn’t see the progress in my work and was unsure about my future. Out of the blue, I received a message from someone that I knew in high school, and with whom I have not been in contact for nearly 30 years. This woman reached out to tell me that one of my interviews touched her life and was the information that she needed at that time. She ended her   message by saying that she was writing to tell me this “in case I was having a less than stellar week.” That woman had no knowledge of my dilemma, but her message was exactly what I needed at that time. In reality it probably took her a few minutes to write, but it changed my perspective and gave me the motivation to move forward. I believe that in that moment God used her to help me.

Take advantage of life’s opportunities to be generous and kind to others. Listen to that little voice inside you; it is God’s whisper nudging you to help someone. Change a life with an encouraging word, a belief in someone’s ability, the       donation of your time or money.  As Debbie wrote, “just one simple act.”

March 2011

Everything happens for a reason; nothing happens by chance or luck, there are no coincidences.

I remember when I was growing up, whenever I was upset about something, my mother always told me that, “everything happens for a reason.” Now, I find myself repeating those words to my friends and family when offering advice. With all that has happened to me throughout the past year, I decided to take pause and ask myself if I really believe that every event and person in my life has a purpose.

If I adopt this philosophy, I must give up the notion of “being wronged” by someone else. I must stop fighting to prove my point, that I am right. I must accept every betrayal, hurtful word, disappointment, lost opportunity, as things that are for my personal betterment. I must give up my control to a Divine plan, one that has my best interest at heart; one that teaches, nurtures and gives me the life experience necessary to appreciate the good times and loving people.

If I believe that there is a lesson in every event, I no longer have to worry about  forgiveness or letting go because there is nothing to forgive. Those who hurt me the most would be my greatest teachers. I would be able to say goodbye to loved ones and those who have left my life because I would understand that they served their purpose and their job is done.

If I believe that everything happens for a reason, I would live a peaceful existence full of love and acceptance. I would not hold grudges and would be able to see the gifts and blessings in my life.

So, yes, I choose to believe that everything happens for a reason and I will strive to find the meaning behind each event. When someone hurts me, betrays me or breaks my heart, I will learn about trust and how to depend on myself. When things don’t go the way I planned, I will learn about patience and believe that something better is waiting for me. When someone loves me, I will return the love unconditionally because that person is teaching me to open my heart.

Without obstacles we would never grow and find our inner strength.

The next time you are faced with a challenge remember…everything happens for a reason. Try to find the reason in your life.

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February 2011

Love:  Strong affection…warm attachment…unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for others.*

Love is a feeling that we all desire; we want to be loved and we want to love. Love is the foundation of our essence; it’s what makes us human. According to John Lennon and the  Beatles, All You Need is Love.

The thing that I can’t help wonder is that if love is such an integral part of our being, and if it is something that we know is good, then why do we have so much trouble loving ourselves? Why do we externalize love instead of placing it where it belongs…within us?

How many times have you put yourself down? How often do you believe that you are not worthy of an achievement or an accomplishment? What do you say to   yourself when you look in the mirror?

We are our own worst enemy. What we say to and believe about ourselves has more of an impact than anything anyone else can say or believe. Where does all of this self-negativity originate and why do we allow it to happen?

When we are children, we dream about growing up, falling in love, and living happily ever after. All of these fantasies usually revolve around someone completing us. Our fairy tales are hardly ever about loving ourselves and being happy with whom we are. I’m not referring to a creating a vain, egoistic attitude, I mean a true love for ourselves – a deep appreciation for our beauty, talents, gifts, and blessings.

If we don’t love ourselves and see our value, then how can we love others and value them? And, how can we fully receive love when we believe we do not deserve it?

This February, the month of love, I challenge you to create a strong affection for and a warm attachment to yourself, and to offer yourself loyal and benevolent concern.

Begin a love affair with the kindest, smartest, most worthy, beautiful person you know…YOU!

Happy Valentine’s Day!

*The Merriam-Webster Dictiomary

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January 2011

Happy New Year!

Every January 1st we are given the opportunity to reflect on the past 365 days of our lives and to start anew. Sometimes this process of self-evaluation can be painful because it forces us to look at the events of our lives and to evaluate our choices and transgressions.

I personally understand the angst that so many feel this time of year. The past year has been a period of tremendous transformation for me; a time that has forced me to look at myself and make hard decisions that will impact the rest of my life.

In 2010, like so many of you, I experienced the loss of relationships from death, betrayal, deception and abandonment; I had feelings of self-doubt and low self-esteem; I wondered about the future of my personal finances and the future of my children; and I stepped out of my comfort zone and embarked on a professional career that brings the potential to fail publicly.

I would be lying if I didn’t admit that there were times when I doubted my ability to survive. Then I met Joni Eareckson Tada. Joni is an author, radio show host, public speaker and disabilities advocate who has been a quadriplegic for more than 40 years. She lives in constant pain and has been battling breast cancer since June. When Joni spoke, she talked about the many blessings in her life and how grateful she is to be alive. She had a tremendous impact on me. I decided to really listen to her and to heed the advice of the many wise people I have met. I decided to let go of the negatives and began to focus on what went right last year. That was my turning point. Through the blessings of my work, I have spoken to so many inspiring people who have been through what I was feeling. I tapped into their courage and wisdom and used it as my motivation for success. I want you to do the same.

We have two choices in life: to dwell on what is wrong and missing in our lives, or to focus on our blessings and to cherish our gifts. Someone I know once wrote, “Every day God waits patiently next to your bed to see you open your eyes and smile. Then He offers you another opportunity called a new day. This precious gift of a day is given to you as a sign of His trust and love.” Let’s use the next 365 “new” days to refresh our spirit, count our blessings, and become the best person we can be.

Make 2011 your year of triumph. Join hands with me and let’s embark on the journey that we call life.